Saturday, May 03, 2008

Saturday's Thoughts

I slept until 11:00 today. When I say slept... I mean was in a self induced coma from 11pm till 11am. I did get up at 7:15 to take Ali outside. On Saturday's Ali will come and kiss my face almost to say, "you are usually up by now, wake up and make sure you aren't supposed to be up, and can you let me outside?" So, after we went outside I got back in bed and fell asleep for another three hours and dreamed and dreamed and dreamed. My hands were above my head and when I woke up they were asleep and heavy. I literally tapped my fingers on my face because it was amusing to me that I could feel my hands on my face but not my face on my hands.

I am retaining water severely. The swelling in my hands, feet, and face almost make me unrecognizable to myself. Everyone tells me "oh you look great pregnant" but because of the weight I FEEL from the babies and from the swelling I have a hard time believing it. I chaperoned a dance at school last night and wanted to wear shoes other than what I wear everyday, black Teva flip flops. So I asked Nick to get the Merril Shoe Box off of the top shelf of the closet, in the box were the cute "nicer" "dressier" white thong flip flops from last summer... I could not squeeze my feet into the things. I was shocked. Then I wanted to wear my red bangle bracelet that I have worn almost everyday for the past 4 years and I could not get it past my knuckles. My fingers are so swollen that I feel stiffness when I bend my hands. Getting out of bed in the morning is difficult, I feel one thousand years old and hear 1000 pops and cracks.

Regardless of my complaining about the swelling, this week I have been SO excited and anxious to meet the babies. Every little piece of clothing that I hold up when I am in their room I get choked up. I drape the clothing over my shoulder or lay the piece over my knee and try to imagine the little body that will fill it up in three months. I just can't wait to touch them, and smell them, and kiss them. And, to watch nick with them. At night, I can feel them moving and for the second night in a row Nick has felt 5-6 kicks. They are not only kicking but rolling now. Hard bumps and pressure can be felt one moment and then the next back to squishy. I'm 26 weeks this weekend. 3 weeks left to work.

My mom came over this morning. We had coffee and time to just talk. She just gave me updates on what's going on her life and I was able to update her on us. Wishing my sister did not live so far away (Memphis). I am happy for her success and social life where she is but wish she were here with us.

My brother Will is in basic Marine training at Parris Island, SC. He is who I was referring to in my poem earlier this week. I have not heard anything from or about him as he is having to "earn" contact with the outside world. I pray for him spiritually, physically, mentally and all. From what I have read and heard about this place it isn't easy... but no pun intended, it is what he signed up for. He left behind a beautiful dog named Simba. Simba is 4 years old, part boxer, part pit bull, and one of the sweetest dogs I have ever met. But in 3-4 weeks Simba will be homeless. Currently he is staying my other brother Walt in Will's old apt. but that lease runs out at the end of May and my dad is getting re-re-married in June and can't take the dog with him. Which of course puts HUGE pressure on me and Nick to foster Simba. I am so torn because I really love animals and want him to have a comfortable safe home but at the same time really don't want to take on that pressure. We already have one dog and have two babies on the way. I don't want Ali to go into some PTS syndrome with all of the new changes. I don't want another somebody to clean up after this summer. I need to house to be as clean and sanitary as possible for the babies. And I do not know how this big dog will be around babies. So this is something else I am feeling led to pray about.

It is 2:30pm and I want to get up and get moving so that Nick can enjoy the rest of the day before going back to class.
Happy Saturday everyone.

6 comments:

Nick M. said...

I love you! You ARE beautiful as a pregnant woman! The Simba thing will work out (I won't state my feelings on the subject here because you know them already), but we will continue to be praying about ALL aspects of our ever changing life and know that God really is faithful.

Mary Tyler S. said...

Maybe uncle Andy could take Simba? just suggesting out loud...

I'll ask around. And you ARE beautiful. But it's OK if you don't feel that way. We'll just have to try harder to make you feel like the beatiful preggo that you are!

Stephanie said...

Ok, this is going to make me sound about 75 years old, but sodium makes a big difference in swelling for me. Canned or boxed foods, or foods high in preservatives (like Italian) make me swell. Fresh food sits much better with me. Maybe it would help you as well? Of course some of it is just pregnancy, and some of it is being on your feet, and there's not much to be done about that. Just a thought, though.

The Bean said...

Don't feel bad. With only one baby in my belly my feet swelled so bad I had to buy mens tennis shoes just so I could unlace them and squeeze my foot into them. It was very amusing to most that my feet were so big. I also got this horrible looking ring around my neck of discolored skin. It all went away though after baby bean was born. I'll talk to Mr. Bean about Simba as well. Who knows, maybe we can be his new family??? No promises but I'll check!

jackie said...

Ya know I could put you in touch with a good massage therapist... ;) Lets find some time and that we can get together (I'm off next monday and we'll be back from england on the 22nd) and we'll have a day of beauty and pampering, my treat! I too can't wait to meet your beautiful girls, but until they're here mommy (and sometimes daddy) get all the love! ;)

The Bean said...

You're in my prayers.