Saturday, September 30, 2006

Quarter-Life Crisis



I received this essay in an email from a sorority sister a year ago and after reading it stuffed it into my now overflowing wooden memory box. My memory box serves the perfect purpose. Yesterday I was in a tizzy cleaning the house frantically before Friday night festivities when I stopped to dust off the top of the box and thought "oh I need to sort through this sometime." Seriously, my entire life is in this box...Baptism certificate to marriage liscense and pictures, notes, letters, movie tickets, cards from all the years in between. Anyway, I found this printed out email called "Quarter-Life Crisis" and found the message profoundly true for me and most of my close friends. Check it out and afterwards, I highly recommend printing it out and stuffing it somewhere you know you will find it again later in time and hopefully be as moved as I am now.

"They call it the 'Quarter -Life Crisis'...
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like...
You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now...
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you ever met; the people you have lost touch with some of the most important ones...
You also start to realize that it is truly amazing when two strangers become the best of friends, but it is truly devastating when the best of friends become two strangers.
What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean, or insecure, but that they are as confused as you...
You look at your job and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing. Or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.
One minute you are insecure and the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life.
You feel alone and scared and confused...
Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward...
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved so much could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person...
One night stands and random hookups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot doesn't seem as fun...
You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision...
You worry about loans, money, the future, and making a life for yourself and maybe for someone else...and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender.
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it in some way or another.
We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure the whole thing out...
Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take but by the amount of moments that take our breath away."
-Author Unknown

One more little quote I'll never forget and want to share...I heard it during one of the last nights my sorority sisters and I spent together in the sorority house our senior year...It goes

"I always knew I'd look back on the times I've cried and laugh. But, I never knew I'd look back on the years I've laughed and cry."

So now...I am going to do something to "mark" my quarter life crisis...any guesses? You'll have to tune in next time to find out!

Friday, September 22, 2006

Quick Update

A quick update since it has been so long since I made time to post.
This weekend is busy. Luke and Jackie are getting married tomorrow. Nick and I are honored to be included in all of the events prior to as well as the actual ceremony and reception.
Work is going extremely well this year. I am one of the few that can say I love my job.
Nick and I are busy during the week as usual but somehow we find ways to hang out together even if it is just talking for 10 minutes before we fall asleep. Ali is still an angel.
We are looking forward to Fall arriving...been getting a few cool (mid 60's) mornings this week which means it is time to start budgeting trips to Starbucks for hot mocha machiattas (SP?) There are 2 Starbuck locations on either route to either school I work at depending on the day of the week and it is so tempting to leave 10 minutes early to make a quick stop...however, not only can my checkbook not afford the excessive luxury, neither can my diet (the ugly 4 letter word).
I really need to be going but I want to leave you with one of my favorite (sappy romantic that I am) quotes from The Way I See It #144 - Marble Mocha from Tuesday morning:

"I used to feel so alone in the ciy. All those gazillions of people and then me, on the outside. Because how do you meet a new person? I was very stumped by this for many years. And then I realized, you just say "Hi." They may ignore you. Or you may marry them. And that possibility is worth that one word." - Augusten Burroughs author of Running with Scissors