Sleeping In...

So today feels like it may be the first "holiday" feeling day we have had in a while. We are both taking our time getting out of bed and have no real plans for the day except to the see the babies which is always a treat.

I have been procrastinating on cleaning the house but feel like today just might be the day. I have a dear friend of mine staying for the weekend. Lauren was my college roommate and sorority sister and unfortunately we don't get to see each other near as much as we would like to. As a matter of fact, the last time I saw her was in December when I visited her in Gadsden to announce to her that I was pregnant. So she will be here to meet Harper and Lily and relax some.

Also on the agenda, a wedding. My father is marrying a nice lady on Saturday evening. He will be moving about an hour away after his honeymoon. I sincerely hope that this union will be fulfilling for both he and she and that they are truly happy.

I had a really good time last night at Nick's softball game. I sat with my sister in law and a couple other wives chatting and giggling. Also, I visited with another lady who wanted to know all about the babies and how I am coping. I decided to be honest and briefly went into a revelation that I have been coming upon lately in my prayers and relationship with God. I told her that I am deeply moved by the number of people that are praying for the growth and strengthening of out babies and that I am totally depending on their requests because lately I don't feel like my own "wants" have anything to do with the outcome of what is going on right now. I want the girls to be comfortable and feel loved while in the NICU. I want them to live and grow stronger everyday and come home with us soon and for us to have a "normal" life. I want to not be afraid every time the phone rings or the monitors alarm when we visit them. But lately I do not make these requests in my prayers. As Christians we believe that God "will give us the desires of our hearts" and that He knows what we need before we ask.... We also believe that all things happen for the good to glorify Christ. And yet, as the old cliche goes, bad things happen to good people all the time. There are mothers praying all over the world for the protection and well being of their children. But their prayers are seemingly not answered or at least they are not answered in a way that they want.... So in my mind, I am not different from these other mothers. No matter how many times I plead to God "make them strong! help them grow! don't let anything bad happen to them... please don't break my heart!!!" does it really matter? I am no different than anyone else who has asked before me. Jesus himself asked God if there was another way to save us other than His own crucifixion. So with all of that said, what I hear in my quiet time is, "Be still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10. When I visit Harper and Lily and sit at their bedside and watch their sleepy eyes open and close and their tiny fingers and toes flex, and their tired yawns, my eyes fill up with tears and my heart fills with love so much it hurts. And at the end of each day, when I hold those precious babies I say thank you so much Lord, thank you, thank you.