Friday, June 06, 2008

Sleeping In...

So today feels like it may be the first "holiday" feeling day we have had in a while. We are both taking our time getting out of bed and have no real plans for the day except to the see the babies which is always a treat.

I have been procrastinating on cleaning the house but feel like today just might be the day. I have a dear friend of mine staying for the weekend. Lauren was my college roommate and sorority sister and unfortunately we don't get to see each other near as much as we would like to. As a matter of fact, the last time I saw her was in December when I visited her in Gadsden to announce to her that I was pregnant. So she will be here to meet Harper and Lily and relax some.

Also on the agenda, a wedding. My father is marrying a nice lady on Saturday evening. He will be moving about an hour away after his honeymoon. I sincerely hope that this union will be fulfilling for both he and she and that they are truly happy.

I had a really good time last night at Nick's softball game. I sat with my sister in law and a couple other wives chatting and giggling. Also, I visited with another lady who wanted to know all about the babies and how I am coping. I decided to be honest and briefly went into a revelation that I have been coming upon lately in my prayers and relationship with God. I told her that I am deeply moved by the number of people that are praying for the growth and strengthening of out babies and that I am totally depending on their requests because lately I don't feel like my own "wants" have anything to do with the outcome of what is going on right now. I want the girls to be comfortable and feel loved while in the NICU. I want them to live and grow stronger everyday and come home with us soon and for us to have a "normal" life. I want to not be afraid every time the phone rings or the monitors alarm when we visit them. But lately I do not make these requests in my prayers. As Christians we believe that God "will give us the desires of our hearts" and that He knows what we need before we ask.... We also believe that all things happen for the good to glorify Christ. And yet, as the old cliche goes, bad things happen to good people all the time. There are mothers praying all over the world for the protection and well being of their children. But their prayers are seemingly not answered or at least they are not answered in a way that they want.... So in my mind, I am not different from these other mothers. No matter how many times I plead to God "make them strong! help them grow! don't let anything bad happen to them... please don't break my heart!!!" does it really matter? I am no different than anyone else who has asked before me. Jesus himself asked God if there was another way to save us other than His own crucifixion. So with all of that said, what I hear in my quiet time is, "Be still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10. When I visit Harper and Lily and sit at their bedside and watch their sleepy eyes open and close and their tiny fingers and toes flex, and their tired yawns, my eyes fill up with tears and my heart fills with love so much it hurts. And at the end of each day, when I hold those precious babies I say thank you so much Lord, thank you, thank you.

7 comments:

Nick M. said...

Thank you indeed...I thank him not only for those precious baby girls but especially for you!! I love you.

Carrie said...

Laura, you continue to bless and amaze me by your precious attitude. I appreciate so much how you share your heart. It is inspiring to me to see (or read about)you turning again and again to God for guidance, comfort and wisdom. What an amazing testimony you and Nick will have through this experience!!

The Bean said...

The babies are looking so great in all your pictures. Keep taking more for us. Also, Kudos to you for already being 5lbs lighter than when you found out you were pregnant. That is FANTASTIC and I know you are loving it. :) Miss you!

Mary Tyler S. said...

Can you help me lose five pounds? please? Can't wait to see you and the girls soon! and nick...

Jennifer said...

As I wipe away my tears from your blog...I get the overwhelming feeling that ONLY GOD will take care of those girls. He will do what is best and you really do have to trust that He knows what that is. They are both in the best hands possible...and I really do believe that there are great things in store for them and their parents. You are blessed and never forget that. Trust Him, He will take care of you and your family! HUGS!!!

Eleanor said...

Laura, at the worst time in my life, when specific prayers for specific things just didn't seem to be helping anything I finally prayed exactly what you are praying -- to be still.

When we say we are putting those people we love into God's hands but then keep tellin' Him what to do, we are, in effect, wrestling with Him -- and He can't hold something of which we will not let go.

The girls are in my prayers every day, and I'm so happy you and Nick are doing things that are "normal" in the middle of so much that isn't right now!

When those girls come home, you are going to be very happy you both took care of yourselves while others were lovingly taking care of them!

Meredith said...

Laura,
You are a strong woman! I am amazed of how strong you really are. You are in my prayers and so are the girls. Lily and Harper and so blessed all ready by the love you and Nick have for them. I really enjoy reading this blog. Thanks for posting all the pictures. I look forward to seeing what's new everyday.
See you soon.
Meredith Marshall