Monday, December 22, 2008

Crying it Out

is it child neglect to put your babies down at 5:30p.m. (because they fall asleep in your arms) then again at 6 (after rocking and falling asleep) then again at 6:30 (after a bedtime story) then again at 7 (more rocking) then between 7:30 and 8:42 let them scream their heads off in their beds because they aren't hungry, they ARE tired, and you just don't know what to do?

We go through these periods where H&L go down so easy, bottle, rock, bam, asleep all is right with the world and then all of a sudden we will go through a week or two when the children cannot me consoled.  I wonder if they are about to cut teeth because not matter how many bottles we offer their hands are in their mouths but they do not want pacifiers.  

Tonight is the first night I said, "Let's let 'em cry it out" and it is... painful.  Lily cries so hard she gags and Harper does this cooing trembling cry that breaks my heart.  Everything I have read says that when a baby reaches 4 months they have to learn to soothe themselves and put themselves to sleep and to run and pick up every time she cries is only teaching her that crying works.  We have the sleeping through the night thing down. ONCE they are out they are our for 10-12 hours.  It is the getting to sleep that seems hard... NO... it is staying alseep once you put them in the bed.  They can be OUT COLD in my arms but the minute they touch the mattress the eyes POP open and screaming competition begins.

Tonight I put them in bed for the last time at 8:30pm and let them cry it out.  It is 8:44 and they are quiet but the crying went on for about 2 hours.  (No it is NOT colic, I am sure).


The Lemmond Family said...

Let them cry it out! When Thomas went through that I would go into his room and pat him just to let him know that I had not left him. I would go in about every 10 minutes. It's just a phase. If they are teething, have you tried the homeopathic teething tablets. They are wonderful. You can get them at Wal-Mart or any drug store.

Stephanie said...

We're in this with Silas too - more at nap than bed. Good luck.

Madame Rubies said...

My advice is always, "trust your instinct." Haydn had colic, and until that passed, Crying it out didn't work. David, on the other hand, was like your girls. He just wanted me to hold him, and that wasn't going to happen. Mommies need sleep too. So, crying it out was what worked for him. Both kids survived. Both still HATE going to sleep. LOL!

Laura M. said...

Thanks for all of the advice. Mommies tell all other mommies to go with their instincts and I agree with that. In the beginning when I knew they had not dropped feedings yet and were just home from the hospital my gut said "go to them, they need comfort"

now they are older and have been sleeping through the night for three months but are doing this thing I mentioned and my guy says, "their fine"

Ha. i do think teething has something to do with it. I will try the orajel: thanks Lindsay.

Eleanor said...

Another "trust your gut" vote.

Interestingly enough, when my boys went through these phases I discovered a pattern -- they always preceded a developmental milestone.

It was pretty neat -- and gave me a way to reframe the frustration.

Jeff, Carrie, Kara Beth, and Kaylan said...

hey laura, I have a pretty good method for "crying it out" that helped me feel better about letting them cry. I'm pretty sure it's the ferber method, though I'm not sure because I didn't learn it by name. It worked great for me, and so if you're intrested in hearing about it, let me know!