Thursday, July 31, 2008
Infants are the Most Influential People in the Galaxy and They Won't Take No for an Answer and They Hurt My Ears Sometimes
Reporting live: 4:17a.m.
I have just debated with Lily for approximately 25 minutes on the topic of "eating off schedule." A schedule is a schedule and countless moms I know have said to obey the schedule and not to get them off the feeding schedule and whatever you do don't feed one without feeding the other.
Wake the other one up to feed them too or you will NEVER sleep. This has worked up until this point when
a) 2 ounces isn't enough to last 3 hours
b) Lily is trying to break me down
Here is what happened:
She grunted at about 3:34 this morning that "now might be a good time to eat?"
I said, "Pshhh, feeding time isn't until 5a.m.!"
"Naaaaa, what about now?" she tried again.
"Oh come on... now there is only like 54 minutes until 5. How about this nice rubbery paci?"
[the infant then projected the paci out of her mouth onto the bedroom floor in protest of ]
I made my final offer, "You want to get in bed with me? Will that hold you over till 5a.m." [infant grins and lays by my side for about 7 seconds then]
"NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOO! Feed me now!"
So I thought that is what she wanted... the story goes on.
I pick up Lily and we walk into the kitchen. She is screaming into my ear this piercing cry that makes me bounce her up and down and repeat a combination of "shhh, PLEASE" and "please stop please stop crying, seriously, I am pouring your milk as fast as I can, please stop screaming in my ear." As the milk is heating up on the counter I go to the couch to change her diaper. She screams through this process also so again I offer the paci; she accepts. I go to get the milk and even though she is not scheduled to eat for another 45 minutes or so I say to myself "feed her now she is hungry forget the schedule OBVIOUSLY my child needs food I'll wake Harper too this just means I'll sleep till 7 instead of 8 then wake them up again to get back on the schedule yea this is the right thing to do ok the milk is hot let's see now where is the boppy oh here it is where is the baby?...." I stumble back to the couch and there she is fast asleep.
"Seriously? All you needed was a diaper change?"
No wonder you wouldn't accept my bargains earlier.
So now it is 4:39a.m. I am pumping because it would be painful to go BACK to sleep only to have to get up again at 5 to actually feed except exactly 30 seconds ago she screamed bloody murder again to the point I had to say, "Nick I'm sorry please go feed her her milk is warm its on the couch." And when someone has been screaming in your ear for almost an hour you feel that kind of desperate where you think and talk in run-on sentences....
It's 4:42 I am not asleep feeding has gone from every three hours to whenever my children scream bloody murder and I give them food but why don't they do this during the day why is it only at night that they throw these fits will we ever sleep i have heard of babies doing this up through the first year oh my sweet Lord give me the strength....