Thursday, August 28, 2008
Who Elected Me?
To Have Twins?
God or Science?
A little bit of both I think.
People ask me if I was taking fertility when we conceived two babies. No.
People ask me do twins run in the family. Yes. Nick and I have great grandparents on both sides that were twins. I guess it was bound to happen, biologically.
But there has to be a deeper and more divine reason that I had twins. Not because I am a "super mom" - this is my first time being a mother and I am no better at this than anybody else. There are lessons to be learned among singleton parents and mothers of multiples. For me the lesson is to be comfortable with imperfections and to know that even abiding the most rigorous schedule will have it's surprises.
I'll steal a line from Stephanie, "to outrun the feeling of being needed beyond my ability to give" is impossible, but manageable.
The past two days, the twins have "woken up." They need a little more than just a diaper change and a feeding before drifting back to sleep. They need to see me and hear me. They need to be held, stroked, sung to. I can do this but at times it is very difficult when there are two lives to mold, not just one. To tend to one infant can mean to neglect the other. This is where the concept of "taking turns" comes into play. My girls are learning this at a very young age. Harper came with a partner. Lily came with a partner.
Did you know that babies can get bored? Keeping them in the same spot all day, even if they are just sleeping, is not good. So we have "stations" now. The crib. The boppy. The swing. The packnplay. Mommy and Daddy's bed for tummy time. Keeping them in a rotation seems to help their boredom and maximize nap times.
I am thankful that I have a husband who reminds me that just because they cry doesn't mean that I am a bad mom. I myself told him when they came home not to be frustrated or feel the need to "bounce" them if they cry because it is their only language right now - let's listen. But somehow I forgot that over the past couple of days. I am learning it all over though and I am sure the minute I think I am getting the hang of things another growth spurt will come along and they will change the language again. But I am here to listen and learn.