Thursday, August 28, 2008

Who Elected Me?

To Have Twins?
God or Science?

A little bit of both I think.
People ask me if I was taking fertility when we conceived two babies.  No.
People ask me do twins run in the family.  Yes.  Nick and I have great grandparents on both sides that were twins.  I guess it was bound to happen, biologically.
But there has to be a deeper and more divine reason that I had twins.  Not because I am a "super mom" - this is my first time being a mother and I am no better at this than anybody else. There are lessons to be learned among singleton parents and mothers of multiples.  For me the lesson is to be comfortable with imperfections and to know that even abiding the most rigorous schedule will have it's surprises.
I'll steal a line from Stephanie, "to outrun the feeling of being needed beyond my ability to give" is impossible, but manageable.

The past two days, the twins have "woken up."  They need a little more than just a diaper change and a feeding before drifting back to sleep.  They need to see me and hear me.  They need to be held, stroked, sung to.  I can do this but at times it is very difficult when there are two lives to mold, not just one.  To tend to one infant can mean to neglect the other.  This is where the concept of "taking turns" comes into play.  My girls are learning this at a very young age.  Harper came with a partner.  Lily came with a partner.  
Did you know that babies can get bored?  Keeping them in the same spot all day, even if they are just sleeping, is not good.   So we have "stations" now.  The crib.  The boppy.  The swing.  The packnplay.  Mommy and Daddy's bed for tummy time.  Keeping them in a rotation seems to help their boredom and maximize nap times.
I am thankful that I have a husband who reminds me that just because they cry doesn't mean that I am a bad mom.  I myself told him when they came home not to be frustrated or feel the need to "bounce" them if they cry because it is their only language right now - let's listen.   But somehow I forgot that over the past couple of days.  I am learning it all over though and I am sure the minute I think I am getting the hang of things another growth spurt will come along and they will change the language again.   But I am here to listen and learn.


Stephanie said...

Welcome to it.

I have an extra travel swing (that Silas couldn't care less about) you are welcome to use as long as you need it, if you discover both babies love the swing.

The good news is that this fussy newborn period is short (Silas is already out of it). The bad news is that when it's happening, it doesn't feel short at all. If we can do anything to help please let us know.

pallie said...

What wonderful insight into motherhood. Though I am not a mother (yet), I know that it is the most difficult and rewarding job ever.

Think about the girls "sharing" this way. If and/or when you have another child, the jealousy will not be an issue...they've had to share since before they even knew how!

Mary Tyler S. said...

ACK!!.. "double trouble" I'm gigglin in my office. Sweet pics. You need to devote a post on explaining "tummy time" : )

Mary Tyler S. said...

Oh and I think the answer to your question is God. My opinion.

Nick M. said...

If only the real definition of 'tummy time' was "when daddy eats too much food and he lays on the bed watching SportsCenter while Mommy rubs his tummy for hours until he falls asleep"...a girl can dream can't he?

You are a SUPER MOM, and you are right about ALL OF it! Teach me! ;-)

Jason said...

I sat the other night and was amazed at how great yall were doing ....I am glad to have a front row seat in these girls lives!!

The Lemmond Family said...

Laura, they are absolutely precious. This phase is short lived but another phase is just around the corner. You are doing excellent with the girls. I am always a phone call away.

Liz said...

i love that last picture - so precious!! seems like you are doing just what you need to - listening to you girls. :)

The Reeds said...

The girls are adorable, and you are amazing!! Those Double Trouble outfits are too cute!

Carrie said...

So cute! Thank you so much for your sweet message! I have been running 50 miles an hour since, I wanted to be able to actually talk to you instead of a quick exchange, but then time got away with me. I know you can understand that. But I did want you to know that I appreciated your message and it was exactly what I needed, so thank you!