new book breeds new desires

... because it is what you should do when you have a little quiet time in the mornings when babies are sleeping.

While I am still in the middle of one novel, I have started another book this morning by Donald Miller. It is called "prayer and the art of volkswagen maintenance." The title is not capitalized on the cover of the book so I am not capitalizing here either... also, I wanted to underline the title but haven't figured out how to do that. I wanted to share one neat little passage from page 10 that I liked and that I wish I had known about yesterday when I posted about it being the arrival of summer vacation for me. It goes,

"After that we have no plans except to arrive in Oregon before we run out of money. We share a sense of excitement and freedom. Not a rebel freedom, rather, a deadline-free sort of peace. There is no where we have to be tomorrow. There is no particular road we have committed to take...

Clearly, this book is about two guys on a cross country road trip with no jobs and no kids... who does that? I am not considering quitting my job or giving up my kids but experiencing that "deadline-free peace" with them, YES. It may just be a trip to the Farmer's market with them or strolling to the water's edge of the pond at Shakespeare but this summer I want to feel and do things that awaken my inner child and feed my soul. The babies' are too young to finger paint or help me cook... all of that will come in time... but until then I can enjoy the fact that they are just "along for the ride" and be the most awesome tour guide mommy ever... they just woke up from their naps... I think I will take them to the pond... why not?

Summer, Day One

Do you remember that feeling you would get as a little child the night before Christmas or just before going on a big trip? The anticipation... the excitement... the urgency to just get there!?! And then feeling so sad when it was over that you almost wish that everyday was "the night before?" That is kind of what today is like for me. It is day 1 of summer vacation and I have really been paying attention to the clock today and doing things I love to do because 8 weeks is all I have to enjoy being off work. I don't want to sound "braggy" in this post because I am sure everyone reading will think, "must be nice" to have vacation that lasts for 8 weeks when a lot of people can't even get one free evening to do what they want. It isn't bragging... it is just a fact that being a teacher is the best place for me to be at this time in my life. I have complained before that I wish I didn't have to work but if working full time is where God has me right now then working full time as a teacher is the next best thing to being a stay at home mom. I am not bitter anymore about not getting to stay home full time with my kids... I am not even bitter about how expensive child care is. I am just thankful. My heart is full. This morning I made a promise to myself that I would not waste this time. It would be nearly impossible though to feel as though any of this time is wasted seeing that I am home with the two most beautiful baby girls in the world. I have three "big To-Do's" on my list for this summer that will require discipline but they are goals I can achieve. Looking forward to days ahead and living in the moment!

This Time Last Year

This time last year I was spending my first night in the hospital. TODAY, one year ago, my journey was beginning. I know that may sound silly but I don't even count the day I found out I was pregnant as the start... nor the day I found out it was twins... it was the day I went to the hospital. I remember going to bed on May 4 around midnight (too late, pregnant or not) and being so tired and so swollen and feeling in my heart that something was not right. On the morning of May 5 I called my boss and told her that I needed to go to the doctor and get my blood pressure checked. I went to my OB's office and immediately the nurse looked at me and her words were, "Oh, Laura, you don't look good."

I remember calling Nick on my drive across Taylor Road to Baptist East and saying something like, "Uh they are sending me to Baptist East... triage!?? I have no idea what triage even means? I don't know for how long... maybe you should call in to work and tell them you aren't coming in today and get up here and be with me."

Of course I won't go into the details of tests and checks I endured that day but end of story that day was, "Cool I'm gonna stay a couple nights in the hospital... off work...Chappy's dinners... gotta great book...crossword puzzles...I can do this."

Text messaging from friends and family out the waazooo yada yada... know I idea that just ten days later my life would be so drastically different.

a peek into my childhood

Friday afternoon was the normal getting off work and heading home at the usual 3:30p.m.

When I got onto Taylor Road just about to turn onto my street I kept driving... and driving. I decided I would take a small detour-out Vaughn Road, right onto Ray Thorington, right onto Pike, right onto the road that takes you to the Troy Hwy., right again on Taylor, then home. You know sometimes when you are driving with the windows down it just comes over you to DRIVE? So that is what I did... the wind and sunshine were just perfect and the tunes were perfect too.

Also, and I know I am not alone on this one, I love the smell of pastures and cow manure. It reminds me of being a child but also of God's open spaces... the places that still look the way He made them. What you may not know about me is that half of my childhood, and some of my college years weekends, were spend at my dad's house which was in Snowden, Alabama on several acres of cow pastures or in their "new house" in Pike Road, Alabama. The Snowden days took being a child "playing outside" to a whole different level. In town, at my mom's house, we played outside running through neighbors yards, jumping in and out of swimming pools, riding bikes on pavement, and never really being out of any adult's sight. In Snowden, we ran around barefoot - knowing we would "get stuck by a mock-orange branch," we waded in ponds, we built our own "forts" - until Dad built us a tree house!!! (which was really like a deer stand in the middle of our tree less back yard but still AMAZING), we threw rocks at the old mossy trees hoping to disturb the gigantic salamanders, and we grew tired of riding our bikes because there was no pavement and because the gravel was too hard, the hills too numerous. So instead, we took turns pulling the others (me and my two brothers) in the red wagon. When it was your turn to pull you were miserable but riding was so fun. I have a very vivid memory of being 8 or 9 and sitting at the edge of the barbed wire fence and watching an old cow stomp her back leg and chomp grass. I remember being absolutely amazed at how much grass she could rip up with one bite and how LOUD she chewed... the thick drool hanging from her bottom rubbery lip. And, I also remember how dark it was at night. This is a true story: my little brother came to me one night and said he had to show me something he was afraid of. We climb up on his bed and he told me there was a secret big black road that only came out at night... we peeked out of his bedroom window and I saw what he was talking about... indeed a huge black "road" stretched out into the backyard... as black as black could be. We pondered and at some point I realized it was only the shadow of our big house being cast onto the yard by the full moon overhead. Of course, I let him believe it was a secret road.

These are the kinds of memories I have and crave when I go driving around "in the country" because back then, anything North of St. James school was "the country."