Wednesday, April 21, 2010


are funny to me.

I sat in on the boys HABIT small group tonight at church to listen to the boys discuss issues about when to listen to the "world" and when to listen to God. It was quite entertaining.

I looked around at 10-15 young preteen and teen faces and watched them cut eyes at each other after making a joke, high five each other after each correct answer, and some fiddle with their baseball caps.

I love little guys. I love their sense of humor and wit the most. No matter what age a little guy is, he can usually make me laugh the same way someone my age can. Most of all, I love watching the different kinds of guys- the cute one, the smart one, the shy one, the artsy one - and attaching a little guy from my past to who that guy is now... and who he will become. I don't mean to sound creepy but I can pick out the ones that I would have thought were cute then... and the ones that I encourage the girls to be friends with because one day, he will be the knight in shining armor - not that the two can't be one in the same. At times I can see past the braces and blemished complexions and see exactly what he will look like as a man and I think, "one day, some girl and some daughter are going to be so completely and desperately in love with him." Does he know what an honor that is? Will he be great? Does he have anyone to teach him how to love a woman the way she deserves... and/or the way she needs to be loved as a result of her past in order to compliment her or mend her?

And the girls... oh the girls. I watch them too. I haven't found myself in this crowd yet. I don't know if I could pick myself at 15 out of a crowd of 100 girls. Because myself at 15 was so incredibly not who I am now. Relationships... I was so bad at them. Some time, ask me how my male relationships really damaged my self image and how if it were not for God's healing mercies and Nick's unconditional love it is terrifying who I would be and who I would be with ... and without... today.


Last night's episode of Glee was focused on how the guys were treating the girls with disrespect - being too macho, too sexist, even superior. At first, Finn, Puck, and Artie didn't get it. Even Mr. Shu had some listening and figuring out to do. It all boils down to how fundamentally different we are. The hormonal changes, examples, and influences we get not only shape who we are but how we treat each other. I have a growing desire to share some of my deep dark experiences with these youth... especially the girls. I know that in time, trust will be earned and hearts will be open and just as He always does, He will place people in each other lives, ready to listen when they need it the most.

Makes me think of the John Mayer lyrics from Daughters,
"Fathers be good to your daughters,
daughters will love like you do.
Girls become lovers, who turn into mothers.
So, mothers be good to your daughters too."


Laurel said...

glad you're back!

I was not a fan of the middle school years, nor was I a fan of my sister when she was that age; its just so awkward and vulnerable. But I, too, am sometimes enthralled with kids at that age because there is such an interesting line between how malleable their minds and lives still are yet how these years are vital to molding the kind of person they'll be through living and hurting and experiencing.

Jason said...

Good post and glad to see you back !!