Wednesday, December 08, 2010

A Mother's Spiritual Moments

My babies have been SICK this week. It all started early Saturday morning, about 3:30a.m. when one child woke up with a fever. The next day, the other baby caught it and currently both are suffering from upper respiratory infections and their regular seasonal asthma. They are pretty pitiful but illness is no stranger to them and dealing with it is no stranger, or enemy, to me.

Since Saturday, I haven't left the house, except to go to the pediatrician's office twice and pharmacy to pick up antibiotics, steroids, and cold and cough OTC meds. I have not put on make-up in all this time. I have showered twice...maybe three times. I haven't talked to anyone except through text messages and emails. Last night was the first night in 4 that I got uninterrupted sleep. My "routine" feels like a juggling act:
wipe a nose
change a diaper
give breathing treatments and meds.
clean up spilled juice
find the wipes
fold the laundry
has it been 4-6 hours yet? give meds.
bleach the counter tops
wipe a nose
change a diaper
read a story
cover up a baby with a blanket
has it been 3-4 hours yet? give breathing treatments and meds.
bleach the counter tops

There was a time in my life when I didn't have enough "sick days" in my "sick bank" to feel no pressure or guilt about staying home with sick babies. I would feel sick to my stomach thinking about work I was missing, paychecks getting smaller, and people at my job that would resent my multiple days off per nine weeks.

I worried. all. time. time.

Y'all. That fear and that worry is gone. Did you know that God promises to bless every little area that we worry about and not only take care of it but provide abundantly? I'll tell you an example. Two years ago, Harper was hospitalized for RSV and pneumonia. This was the winter after I returned from maternity leave so I had no paid leave to take. I emailed all of my teacher friends begging for donations for "sick days." I wasn't getting any responses and had reached a point where I was getting angry. Nick called to tell me goodnight - I was at home taking care of Lily while he stated in the hospital with Harper. I told him how I was feeling and he assured me that God was working it all out. 5 minutes later I had a call on my cell phone from an unknown number. I answered and heard an unfamiliar voice on the other end. A girl I had met two or three times through another friend was calling to tell me that her husband had taken a job in Mississippi and that she would be leaving her teaching job at the end of the year... and that she had 15 sick days to give me. I will never forget being unable to speak, wiping away tears. I thanked her as best as I could, laid my baby down in her bed, walked to my bedroom, got down on my knees, and said, "shame on my Lord, please forgive me, for doubting you."

Both of my children were hospitalized again the following year and now this little setback... and I have the days, because of her gift, my answered prayer.

Anyway, I had a spiritual moment today because in between bleaching and wiping, I was sitting on the floor with my sick children playing pretend tea party, listening to Christmas music for the first time this season, and just breathed in and out thinking, "wow, what a gift to be home, to be mommy, to be free from worry, to be getting to spend three days with these beautiful children in their time of need."

As I type I am sitting in my old red chair beside the Christmas tree, listening to Celtic Christmas music and basking in the meaning of the season which is "peace on Earth."

Peace starts small. in your heart. in your home. in your relationships. out in your community. to other people in this big big world.

I tell you this one example of giving and peace in my life to hopefully give you a little encouragement this time of year in case you are worrying or depressed about something going on that feels impossible. Do you believe in miracles? They happen everyday. Christmas is about expecting great things, so much more than what's wrapped under the tree.


Sarah Beth said...

I wish I could go into to a long story about this but this was the PERFECT thing for me to read today. Love to you and your family. Thanks for blessing me today!

Teresa said...

Blessings to you. This is the first time I've seen your blog. I was just posting on mine, ( and pressed that nifty little button "next blog."
Usually it sends me to a blog in a language I don't understand. I'm glad God sent me to yours today.

Betty and Wilma said...

Well, stranger, thanks for the read. Enjoyed seeing the world through your eyes! See you around!

Leeny said...

With Jesus you Know Peace, without Jesus you have no peace. Leeny

Daysleeper said...

Hiya, I enjoyed reading your story. You are truly inspirational and i have learned from your writing.