Tuesday, March 28, 2006

I'll Tell You What Is Not Home...

So as you all know, my Love and I moved to a new place: our first "our place." We call it home. We ask "our house?" when agreeing on a place to meet and just about all of our close friends have stopped by for dinner, coffee, or a glass of wine. We have all of our belongings here. This is the place where we open our eyes in the morning and the place where we close them at night. We love the extra space. We love built-in-book cases and kitchen cabinets for days! We love the fact that we can yell at each other from separate ROOMS...not just up and over the bar that divides the kitchen from the dining room from the den from the bedroom. We love the fact that we use our couch now to sit and read for hours on end. We used to just not read and we watched movies sprawled out on the floor. We love watching movies in bed because "the big TV" has to go in our room because it is too big for the built-in-book cases. We love that we "feel" blessed at home because we are blessed in our home.
However, I'll tell you several things that are not home. First and foremost, it doesn't feel like home when my Love isn't here. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the times he runs to a friends house or out to play ball. I need down-time just like anyone. But the days his meetings at work drag till 9 or 9:30pm doesn't feel like home. Second, not being 4.5 minutes from the house I grew up in, away from my Mama and Tutters and Poi is not home. Now I am 20 minutes (equal to 8-9 days). Third, not being able to walk out of the front door and take a sunset jog down Fairview, around the park in front of FUMC, and up the hill on College Street. We traded that for a treadmill. I miss not being able to walk out of the back door and watch the Huntingdon Hawks play ball from our second story balcony. That balcony was also awesome for hot coffee and hot cigs. on a cold morning before the day really started. But we traded that for watching a lake with a fountain and I quit the cigs. Fourth, our bathroom has this weird "macaroni" smell...Ask Nick, I will literally wake from deep slumber and ask him..."Do you smell that? It's like macaroni." That eerie realization that this place wasn't REALLY made just for us. You know...everyone has a house, or a room, or a closet, or lover's t-shirt that smells like home. Needless to say, every minute I am in this place there is a mango candle burning away in our bathroom. Fifth, our neighbors wake up at 5am and do something to the beat of this weird, Indie/Indo (whatever)-persuasion-techno-dance music - ish- stuff. It just booms through the wall untill 7 and of course I moan to Nick, "Do you hear that?" And eight, there is this green mold stuff growing under the sink in the kitchen. It does not smell and as far as I see there are no spores...but not homey, nonetheless.
There is no sweet or philosophical ending to this one. Just wanted to post my thoughts.

Until next time, don't hurt the Love.

Post inspired by "The Green Life: Home, part 1, etc."
And I really wish I knew how to do the connect a link to your post thing right now.


Heather said...

I know how that can feel. Core had church counsil last night and didn't get home till 10 or so. He won;t be home from band practice till the same tonight. Church tomorrow. Softball and college bible study thursday. Some days i get so lonely here.

And Mama. I am 10 hours away from Mom. 12 if I have to drive it alone with both kids. I miss my Mama.

The Bean said...

It's me, Emily. This posting name just felt more appropriate. :) I know the feeling of what is NOT home. We have to rent here because we are not allowed to buy. Something in the SOFA agreement the countries have. Anyways, my landlord is crazy, literally, and I feel like I can't do anything to this place to make it feel like home because in 7 months I would just have to change it back to it's original state. Granted we have been here for nearly 2 1/2 years now but we were in CA for a year of that time. I can't wait to be back stateside, buy a house, and make it MINE!

And the whole distance thing from family? I am a 10-12 hour plane ride from all of mine. And honestly, at some times it's nice to be that far away from some of them. I love them all, but the space is great. But then I also can't run around the corner, or just down the street as it would be if we were still in Bridlebrook, to visit the Mielke's new place.

Send pics with your stuff moved in when you can! Mr. Muffin has my email address.

Mary said...

Hopefully, it will start to feel like home after you've been there a little while. I can't think of a single house or apartment that FELT like home. We have moved an average of once a year (sometimes more) since we've been married. We lived out of a van practically for a few months of Lane's senior year. We lived under a CAFETERIA with 7 people total for three months. We lived in a townhouse type apartment for a year with our best friends and several weenie dogs. We lived downtown Nashville for 7 months and loved it! Now we've bought our first home and not even a year later, it is on the market. We haven't hung ONE picture because we NEVER felt at home there.

Home for me is Lane and the puppies. That is all I get to take with me and we're constantly moving. Nashville, the city, feels most like home, but not a particular apartment or house. I'm rambling now, but my point is... after a while, hopefully it will feel like home anywhere it is you and Nick. Don't get too attached to stuff or homes or cities. It comes and goes, but your relationships don't.

My mom grew up in the airforce and use to say, "Home is wherever daddy hangs his hat." Times have changed and it is more like "wherever daddy leaves his chacos in the middle of the floor." but the sentiment is the same.

wow, this was way too long for a comment. sorry 8-)

Scooter said...

I can really relate to all of this. Instead of macaroni, though, we smell fried something or another from the bathroom. And these apts. are brand stinking new! Do they prefabricate apartments with built-in bathroom smells? I don't get it. Our new apt. bath smells much, MUCH better than our bathroom in Nashville, though, so I shouldn't complain. We had underneath neighbors that owned a Chinese restaraunt, and I guess they cooked lo-mein in their bathroom. I would wake up in the morning to the smell of Chinese food and cigaretes. Yum...

Oh, and thanks for your ideas on homosexuality. Every one seems to skate around the topic, me included, but I'm really searching for what's right. It's one thing to meet a person who's gay and befriend him, which is how it usually happens for me, but it's a completely different story when someone who you've known all of your life decides that they are gay or finds out, or however you want to say it. This is why I'm struggling with the idea. And we really, really should meet. We're like 15 minutes away from one another.

Mary said...

Here is a question I have, do you think people "skate" around the issue everywhere or is it just in more conservative areas? I feel like I was totally and completely comfortable discussing this issue in Nashville PLUS it really wasn't an issue that was discussed because it wasn't an ISSUE. But here in Dothan it is TABOO and everybody freaks out over it. I'm very curious what the difference will be up in VERY BLUE massachusetts? I think it would be refreshing to live somewhere that it isn't a HOT BUTTON issue. Maybe there isn't anywhere like that.

I've really grown to love all the people I work with, really, and I will even kind of miss them. Every single one of them is completely against homosexuality and gay rights which bothers me but it doesn't mean I don't love them. I just don't see eye to eye with them on this issue. I just think we shouldn't look at gays as the super bad "sinners" and we're the saints. We're all sinners so why spend so much energy condemning them? Aren't there more important things to focus on?

Anyway, just my two sense. I really wasn't trying to get into that yesterday on my blog, but it is great to hear your thoughts 8-)

Nick M. said...

I think regional issues are definitely a big factor as to why the issue of homosexuality is "skated" around. It's one of those things where if you are talking to you friend in public and you are discussing this as you say a keyword like "gay" or "homosexual" in a conversation your voice automatically drops to that defensive hushed whisper and you cut your eyes to see who noticed. It shouldn't be that way but this state is BLEEDING RED, so that's a big factor I'm afraid.

My stance has always been hate the sin, love the sinner. I sin in different ways, but I am a sinner nonetheless. I am no better than anyone because I'm not gay. EVERYONE needs and deserves God's love, and we were put on earth to spread it. I may not like the fact that someone is gay, but they may not like the fact that I cuss...we all are in the same boat.

Valerie said...

Hi, Laura, I know we've never met, but I hope you don't mind if I comment on your blog anyway... :-)

It's weird now, living a little further north than, say, Montgomery or Tupelo, that things that are still hot button issues are more like arguing and sometimes screaming and boiling-over issues, instead of further south where people feel guilty and whisper. I wonder where that comes from...

When I worked at the newspaper in Amory, MS, we used to make fun of a certain contingent of people in town that would whisper when they talked about black people, even when they were saying something harmless.

Local person example: "You know, they have that Wednesday night supper down there at the black church."

So whenever we used the word black in any context, we would whisper it.

Newspaper staff example:

Staff member 1: "We need a new ink cartridge."

SM2: "Okay, I'll get one- color?"

SM1: "No, black."

Hey, I think that was almost as long as Mary's comment!

Stephanie said...

Hi Laura,

I'm glad you liked Home: Part I.

I have noticed the blackwhisper, too. It cracks me up.

Scooter said...

All sins are the same, bottom line, whether people in AL want to believe it or not.

And, yes, I know you weren't really trying to get into the subject yesterday, Mary, but you gave such a good invitation, though completely unintentional, and I couldn't pass it up. Angela, my best friend in Mass., says that people are way more comfortable with every aspect of homosexuality. She moved from AL to Boston, so she is very aware of all of the differences between the South and North. You'll enjoy that part of Boston. People don't really freak out about homosexuality, and they DEFINITELY don't skate around the issue.

And there are plenty of other things to focus on--God's Love, His grace and forgiveness for all of His children, and the list goes on. But I can't get away from my conscience on this one, no matter how hard I try. And I'm never going to hate homosexuals--EVER! In fact, its quite the opposite. But what if I'm too tolerant? Some people don't think that there is such a thing, but I think there is. I don't know exactly what to believe about it all. I mean, as a Christian, if a gay friend asks me if I think that he is doing wrong by being with another man, am I wrong for telling him that its okay?

Mary said...

Well, sure there is such a thing as too much tolerance. I am not TOLERANT of serial killers. I know it's just their personal choice and might even be biologically programmed in their brains to be secretly slaughtering innocent people BUT it certainly infringes on the rights of others and the good and safety of society.

GAY PEOPLE DO NOT DO THIS. This is what bothers me. They aren't hurting anyone or disrupting society. They aren't going to contaminate your children.

But people talk about homosexuality around here like it is the same thing or something.

ALSO, we have the black whisper here for sure. THE WORST is when I'm telling any story about anything, someone will say, "where they black????"

My response is, who the hell cares? what difference does it make.